MIKE BEAVIS ALREADY DIGGING HIS OWN HOLE IN COLORADO Without Butthead to keep him in check, Beavis is already making a mess as Grit team’s new president

I’m sorry, please tell me this is an early April Fool’s joke.

The North American 3 Hockey League’s Texas RoadRunners coach has accepted an offer to become the North American Hockey League Colorado Grit’s new team president.

While in St Louis over the weekend for the NA3HL’s Fraser Cup, Beavis was telling any and everyone that he plans on firing the current coaching staff and will be naming himself as the new head coach and general manager.

The career pay-to-play coach has somehow managed to convince Grit owner Bob Bowden that he alone is the answer to all the Grit’s problems. Well, that and Beavis assisted the owner’s son to secure an NCAA Division III opportunity for next season. The size of Bowden's donation to secure his son's admission remains unknown, but there was indeed a donation.

Beavis, forever an opportunist, is rumored to have already made contact with several current Grit players, letting them know that he will be running the Grit show once the season has been completed. Beavis was herd saying that he would have let go of the staff now, but he did not want to be on the bench when the Grit visits Odessa next week.

The former NA3HL coach’s role with the Odessa Jackalopes was more of a camp filler than it ever was as a scout. Beavis is well known for make a ton of promises to players regarding their chances of winning an Jackalopes roster spot. When the players failed to earn an invitation to the NAHL team’s training camp, Beavis would often promise that only he could get the same players an opportunity with Odessa sometime during the season.

What does this all mean for the Grit?

Look for an immediate reduction in team staff payroll as Beavis attempts to fill multiple positions on his own. Unfortunately, he does not have the experience to coach a team at this level. His assistant coach hires will be little more than young yes men from his time in Texas.

Then there is the problem of business development. When has Beavis successfully secured corporate sponsorships with any degree of success? Has he ever generated more than $100,000 in non-player tuition revenue in any season he has operated a team?

Now this is where we are going to get very personal. Between the 2018-19 and 2019-20 seasons, I recommended Beavis to Jackalopes’ owner Don Stone and that connection ultimately led to Beavis securing the RoadRunners job. In appreciation for that good deed, Beavis bad-mouthed me to not only the players we had placed on his team, but to Stone and anyone else he possibly could.

As a result, I steered our advisory clients away from Beavis and the RoadRunners. What else did he expect was going to happen?

It’s my position that Beavis will always do what’s best for himself, even if that means burning every bridge along the way. It’s my opinion that the Grit will suffer huge losses of revenue and on-ice success. 

In the end, Beavis will end up right where he belongs, selling used cars in upstate New York alongside his good friend Butthead. He's getting too old to fill in all the holes he's dug in the last few weeks.